Friday, 21 April 2017

The Adventures of Lando Erif :: The Day I Save the World...Again. (Pt. Eight)

I cannot believe that this story is EIGHT. WHOLE. PARTS. LONG. *flails*

Longest Lando story ever. It hit 11,745 words in all. More than twice as long as any of the others. Yayyy. I'm very excited about that actually, because I've had these stories partially happening for the last few years.

Aaaaand I'm just going to stop waffling on and let you get on to the ending of the story!

::Part One::
::Part Two::
::Part Three::
::Part Four::
::Part Five::
::Part Six::
::Part Seven::

We cornered Zana in the spare bedroom.

Whether she’d been in there already, or if she’d chosen that place to tactfully retreat to, I have no idea, but she was in there, and waiting for us. Except I didn’t know it to start with because she was hiding.

I pushed the door closed, taking a deep breath and stepping forward across the room, glancing around. Thomas mumbled something about sandwiches under his breath, following right behind me.

When Zana flipped out from beneath the bed, she sent me flying back with a popping spell. Thomas hit the wall first and I hit him just after, almost ending up on the floor from Thomas’s scrambling to keep himself upright.

Titus grabbed his arm. “Are you trying to kill my brother?” He flashed a furious glare at Zana, looking ready to jump-tackle her.

“Of course not.” Zana’s sweet smile twanged on my nerves.

Enough was enough.

“Come on.” I nodded at the twins. If we all went at her at once, then she won’t stand a chance, surely.

May as well try anyway.

I charged across the room, vaguely realising after about three steps that I had no idea what I was actually doing. Luckily —or not, depending on one’s point of view— I never actually reached Zana herself.

She flicked her wand once and a surge struck me in the center of the chest, shocks jolting through my limbs. I grabbed forward at the last minute, snatching her wand and jerking it free at the same time as she released another spell, sending me staggering back again.

The cute popping sounds were going to start getting on my nerves soon too.

Sweet tongued fairies, little pops as spells that could take my head of were cast. It was all a little bit down-played and childish really. Why not a couple of explosions?

Sadly I didn’t have dynamite. But I did have a fairy wand.

So I snapped it over my knee.

It exploded in a cloud of burning embers, and I yelled aloud, dropping it and jumping back, blinking my eyes rapidly to try and clear them. Ouch. Not doing that trick again.

Zana screeched something incomprehensible and an orange glow puffed up from the wand, surging a strange sort of humming through the room. The twins doubled over, suddenly gasping and heaving like they were being strangled.

I jerked my gaze up to Zana. “What are you doing to them?”

“Oh.” There came that sweet smile again. “I’m afraid they’re not so good at handling the heat.”

Come to mention it, my headache had started throbbing horribly again. “Heat? It’s…not that bad.” I grabbed Titus’s arm, shaking him. “Ti?”

Titus choked in another breath, pain straining across his face, apparently unable to reply.

Okay then. Zana was being serious this time.

I spun back to her. Up to me then. Time for Lando to save the world. Problem was, how?

“I’m afraid they might die if they can’t breathe. They’ve only got a bit longer before they pass out.” She tsked under her breath. “Humans are such petty creatures.”

“Yeah so that’s a reason to kill us all, right?” I stepped forward, trying to ignore the fact that my hands were shaking like crazy. With luck, Zana would ignore that too.

“Pfft. There’s always reason to annihilate an entire race.” She shrugged, waving one hand carelessly.

It was impossible. How could anyone be that cold hearted?

“I don’t think so,” I replied, glaring at her.

My headache was growing steadily worse, and I realised that if I hung around talking for much longer, it wasn’t going to be just the twins affected.

Okay then.

I punched toward her face, hoping that she knew less about martial arts than I did. She caught my fist and twisted, exploding pain up my wrist. Then her other hand came up and slapped me full across the cheek.

Reeling back, I gasped for breath, everything darkening around me from the force of her blow. I am never going to say ‘hits like a girl’ ever again. That fairy wasn’t just giggles and may-I-chop-off-your-head-please? She had plenty more strength than it looked.

I clasped my hand to my burning cheek, trying to regain my footing properly. Just beside me, Thomas collapsed to the floor, curling into a ball. Panic threatened to flood everything else out, but I held it back with an effort.

Cold fire. I gulped in a deep breath and tried to focus on some cold element inside. Nothing. Nothing at all. Just hot. Very hot.

Plan C. Or was it H by now?

Bending down, I grabbed the two pieces of snapped wand off the floor by my feet and threw them at Zana. She ducked back, giving me enough time to snatch a book off the shelf along the wall and swing it into the side of her head as hard as I could.

It smacked her hard enough that she went sprawling across the floor.

I dropped the book, almost following her down as my vision swayed. But the throbbing in my head improved instantly, and Titus staggered to his feet, heaving in huge mouthfuls of air.

I’d done it.

Crouching nervously beside Zana, I picked up her wrist gingerly and felt for her pulse. Phew, I hadn’t killed her completely then. With luck it would be a case of concussion. Amnesia would be perfect, but maybe too much to ask for at this stage.

“It’s okay,” I managed, my mouth dryer than normal. “She’s out.”

Titus gripped my shoulder, and I twisted, looking up at him. “You saved our lives.”

“Yeah.” I staggered to my feet. “No problem. Anytime.”

Thomas pushed up onto his hands and knees, wincing but otherwise looking considerably better than a few moments before.

“Now what?” I broke the moment of silence, staring uncertainly down at the unconscious fairy.

“I got a plan,” Thomas mumbled, standing.

“Mhm?” I turned to look his way. “Good plan or bad plan?”

“Good plan.”


“Duct tape.” Thomas wrinkled his nose at Zana. “I think we should duct tape her up.”

I glanced down at her, then at Titus and nodded. “Sounds fair enough to me.”

Then something jumped at me from behind.

I yelled aloud, flinching in panic, desperately grabbing at the thing that had landed on my shoulder. A moment later I realised what it was. The hybrid rabbit-bird Fluff Ball perched just by my ear, watching me with an offended air as I prised it away.

“What on earth—?” Titus gaped.

Skvader,” I said, completely butchering the correct pronunciation. “The critter that started this whole thing in the first place.”

The twins both just stared as I placed it firmly in the center of the open book on the floor and pressed it against the pages before slamming the cover shut.

“Did you just—” Thomas stammered in disbelief and I lifted the book and shoved it beneath another book —even though I knew it was useless. “Did you just squish that thing?”

“What? Oh, no. It teleports through books, sorta.” I shrugged. “Where do you think we’d find duct tape?”

The twins both stared for another moment before Titus lifted one should halfway. “No clue.”

I grunted. That made for three of us then.

Two seconds later and the rabbit-bird bounded in through the door, carrying a roll of duct tape in its mouth.

Blinking, I crouched and grabbed for the tape, only to have the creature bounce back out of reach. I narrowed my eyes slightly, glaring at it and lunging forward. Successful only in landing my face into the floor.

The creature dashed from the room and I followed, scrambling along behind. I almost lost sight of it, but sped up, and ducked around another door, almost yelping again as it dropped onto my shoulder. I pulled it away, dumping it in the sink of what seemed to be a bathroom. All along one wall were stacks of duct tape rolls.

Why did Zana keep her duct tape in the bathroom? I haven’t got a clue.

A few moments later, the twins appeared, dragging Zana between them. Thomas grunted at the sight of the duct tape and heaved the fairy over to the ornate looking bathtub and dropped her in.

Reaching over, I tossed Thomas and Titus each a roll of duct tape. “Go ahead,” I offered, my voice squeaking at the end as the rabbit-bird dropped onto me, misjudging and landing on my head instead of my shoulder.

I reached up, thoroughly annoyed, and dragged it off, wincing as it pulled at my hair. “Okay, be right back.”

I grabbed the creature, carrying it outside until I found a book on a low table set against the hallway wall. I flipped a couple of pages, shoved the hybrid in and slammed it shut, lifting one of the legs of the table and jamming the book beneath its weight.

That should about do it.

A scampering came from the hallway behind me and I spun, dreading what I might see.

The creature stopped mid-scamper, sitting upright and staring up at me, it’s tiny nose twitching slightly, wings splaying out across the floor.

“Fine,” I growled, turning on my heel.

A moment later and it was sitting on my shoulder again.

“I said ‘fine’ not ‘sit on my shoulder,’” I protested, pushing it away as it tried to eat my hair. “That’s not grass.”

It just shuffled sideways until it wasn’t right up next to my hair and sat there, wriggling it’s nose disdainfully at everything and nothing.

I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to take this, but on the other hand it was slightly cute…I pulled it off my shoulder and dumped it —gently— on the floor, ignoring it as it started tagging along right beside me as if my ankle was its personal travel buddy.

A movement whizzed past the window, grey and blurred with speed and I ran forward, ducking into the bathroom again. “Hey guys, Mum’s here—” I broke off, staring at Zana. Or more, what I could see of her past the duct tape half cocooning her. “Wow. You’re not doing this in halves are you?”

Titus looked down at their handy work. “Hmm…nah. May as well go all the way.”

“And I had an idea.” Thomas waved a magic Net ReLocator vaguely. Or rather, four of them duct taped together at the corners. “I thought we could ReLocate this whole island. That way, not only is Zana duct taped, she’s also abducted. And so is her castle!”

“But wouldn’t that ReLocate her onto Dragon Island?” I pointed out.

“Ah…yes.” Thomas bent over the Nets again, fiddling with something I couldn’t even see. “Still working on that.”

“M’kay.” I shrugged and turned back to the door, tripping over the rabbit-bird and almost falling flat on my face. I only just managed to stop myself from falling, catching hold of the sink and stumbling several paces. “Oy, get out of the way,” I complained, stepping over the creature and going to wait at the door while Thomas finished his work and Titus idly started juggling used up rolls of duct tape.

It was only a few minutes later when I led the twins back outside. We met Mum in the main hall entrance and she slumped in relief.

“You’re all okay?”

“Yep.” I nodded.

It had been close, but in the end it hadn’t turned out too awfully.

She nodded us over to the grey dragon, hauling me up first, followed by the twins just behind. “Okay. You’d better be ready to go, because we’re going now even if you’re not.”

“I am.” I nodded quickly. “Would you mind flying up first so we can be over top of the island first?”

She narrowed her eyes in my direction but then nodded. “Okay.”

The wind roared in my ears as the ground dropped away unexpectedly, and I grabbed at Mum’s shoulders to stop myself from falling off completely. Thomas grabbed me from behind, almost breaking my shoulder with the tightness of his grip. I didn’t particularly mind.

He could’ve died. And Titus. And me. I could’ve died.

Not mentioning annihilation of the entire human race.

The dragon soared upward and a moment later I saw a blur of gold as Thomas dropped the Net. It spun downward, slipping from sight as the dragon banked to the side and tipped its wing down, sending us in a streaking line toward Dragon Island.

I craned over my shoulder, watching Zana’s Island.




It was gone. One moment there, the next nowhere to be seen.

I felt relief flood through me. That was it. The end. No more Zana Bradford stalking my birthday parties. No more duct tape kidnappings. Phew.

Admittedly I was a little disappointed for a moment, realising how boring it might get without Zana.

Haha. Ha. As if one little ReLocation was going to stop her from ever finding me again.

In the end, all I did was give her more reasons to annoy me.

I’d just bought myself a quick little break before things really started.

- end -

And that brings us to the end of this story! It's been an interesting ride, and jeez it doesn't look like Lando is getting out of this completely. But he's going to get a little break hopefully before Zana pops up again.

In the meantime...I have no idea what I'm doing. As per usual. I'm just bumbling on and hoping there's a story happening by the time I next need one.

Although on that note, I may have found a story idea that I could use for a new serial...

Should I stick with Lando for longer, or are you interested in hearing about this possibility for a new full story?

(possibility. Not necessarily realistically doable.)
Does anyone have ideas/inspiration/requests for other Lando Stories?

Friday, 14 April 2017

The Adventures of Lando Erif :: The Day I Go Sky-Diving (Pt. Seven)

April is already half way finished?? Someone please tell me what happened to the month.

My introduction is going to be pretty short today. Because I'm not actually here!!! *bounces* I'm actually right now at an exclusive writer's retreat, writing like crazy and having a whole pile of fun.

In other words, I'm at my cousin's place.

So note: any comments might have slight delays in being published/replied to because of a) busyness and also b) bad internet connections. But only slight delays at worst.

I would give you a quick update of my Camp NaNo stats but I actually pre-wrote and scheduled this post so as I'm writing these words I have no idea. XD I'm having the time of my life though and am going fairly good.

And now on to the sky-diving adventures!

Free falling through the air only lasted long enough for me to scream in undignified terror before I hit the roof of a balcony and started sliding.

That day probably would have ended in Lando Pancake if not for the broken tiling on the edge of the balcony.

My shirt caught, jerking me to an abrupt stop and almost strangling me. I hung suspended over nothing, the fabric of my shirt pulling tight across my chest, the only thing actually holding me up.

I gulped, reaching around as carefully as I could and searching for a grip with my hands. My groping fingers met nothing secure enough, and I reached out further, but the motion pulled my shirt free and I started slipping again.

A half scream caught in my throat and I grabbed at the first thing I touched, my fingers slipping along the smooth surface of the tiles until the edge. I gasped hold of the small notch that ran along the edge of the balcony roof, my fate only slightly better now. But I couldn’t hold on for very long.

I squinted down over my shoulder and my heart lurched inside my chest, my breath choking for a moment.

There was no way I’d survive that. And there was no way I could pull myself back onto the roof. My only chance was the balcony itself. Only it was at least a foot further in than the edge of the roof. I’d have to swing and let go.

I couldn’t. I couldn’t make myself do that.

Panic set in, my arms starting to shake from the strain.

I couldn’t but I had to.

It was either that or Lando Pancake. And I still didn’t like the sound of Lando Pancake.

Gritting my teeth, I swung my legs, getting up some momentum. Just imagine you aren’t above a huge drop where you’ll definitely die if you slip. Imagine your arms aren’t about to give out. Imagine you’re not going to miss the balcony completely and fall…

I swung last time and dropped.

I’m not very good at imagining things away.

Don’t panic though. I mean, sure I completely missed the balcony and started screaming to my death on the ground far below, but this is where it gets interesting.

That was when I was snatched out of the air, mid scream, by a strong grip around my arm. A strong dragon-grip. I dangled from the grey claws, gulping for breath, my vision blinking in and out in the overwhelming panic that was pounding through my ears.

I wasn’t dead.

But I was hanging from a dragon’s claws.

Close enough to being dead, right?

I heard something above me, almost like a voice, but the heaving rush of air from the flight drowned out anything. Then the ground swooped up toward me and I couldn’t help the muffled sound that came from my mouth a split second before wings flared out behind, slowing us immediately. My feet scraped across the ground, still moving past rapidly. The grip on my arm released and I tumbled forward head over heels, sprawling into the springy grass, rolling uncontrollably down the slope.

I grabbed at the grass and finally managed to slow myself, skidding to a breathless stop. For a few moments I lay, slumping my face into my arms, just trying to catch my breath.

Then I noticed the ground crumbling under my hand.

I lifted my head just enough to see where the ground just suddenly dropped away into nothing, right next to me. Letting out a yell, I pushed up, trying to get away, but the earth beneath my hand gave way, sending me falling flat on my face, my arm and shoulder hanging over the edge.

Gulping down the panic, I shifted slightly, wincing as more earth crumbled. The space below me just kept on going down…and down…for a moment a cloud below drifted apart just enough so I could see that there wasn’t land below for any see-able distance. Wriggling back further, I got to my hands and knees and then crawled a little further away before lurching to my feet and running in the opposite direction.

My heart throbbed against my ribs, and I dropped to my knees in the middle of a patch of long grass, gulping in deep breaths.

Okay. So it was a floating island. A floating island in the sky with a huge nothing underneath. I wasn’t freaking out at all. No way. Nuh-uh. Totally fine.

The dragon swooped low over my head and then landed just a little way off. I thought about running for approximately a quarter of a second before I discounted it as completely useless. No way I could get very far before it caught me, and even if I did, there wasn’t anywhere to go.

Then a familiar looking figure jumped off the dragon and had me it a fierce hug before I could work out what was going on.

“Lando, I was so worried.”

“Wait…mum?” I pulled back far enough to see her face, her gaze deeply worried and staring down at me.

“Are you okay?” She pressed her hand against my forehead. “You’re burning.”

Her words snapped me out of my daze, glancing over her shoulder and realising that the twins were standing nervously by the dragon. “How did you find me?” I wriggled out of her arms, trying to connect the dots.

“It wasn’t a hard guess to track you down. I just needed to find directions to Zana’s castle. And Sir George was able to give me locations for the twins because Titus has magic Nets in his pocket and the Guiding meant he could pinpoint where they were.” She smiled down at me. “From there it was just a matter of stealing a dragon and flying here.”

“You stole a dragon?” I stared.

Her smile widened. “Absolutely.”

I almost laughed, but then something crinkled in my pocket as I shifted slightly. Diving my hand in, I pulled out the papers, ignoring the first two, but glancing down at the Plan. I was wasting time. “Mum.” I flashed my gaze up to her. “I need you to do something for me.”

She paused, a frown pulling at her flat brows. “Is something wrong?”

“Take this to Sir George.” I shoved the paper into her hands. “Zana is planning an attack on…humans in general. I’ve got to try stop her, but in case I don’t manage to, you need to warn everyone.”

“Lando I’m not leaving you—”

“Mum.” I grabbed her arm and started pulling her toward the dragon. “She has an army of dragons and warlocks and I don’t even know what a warlock does but it doesn’t sound good. You need to warn everyone.”


“I’ll go back on another dragon. Zana has a dragon, I’ll ride that one or…something.” I tried to sound more confident than I felt.

“Hey what’s up?” The twins stepped forward, looking at me worriedly.

“You guys all need to go back and warn Dragon Island.” I felt my heart rate speeding again and I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.

“Warn of what?”

“But wait, we’re not leaving you.” Titus stepped forward and grabbed my shoulder. “Whatever you want to do, I’m in.”

“Same,” Thomas added instantly. “Although that goes without saying.”

“Please, it’s dangerous.”

“Um, well duh.” Thomas rolled his eyes.

“We’re with you, dude.” Titus crossed his arms, and I knew I wouldn’t convince them otherwise.

I could say anything I wanted and they’d follow me. I guess it was a sort of comforting thought.
“Well…thanks.” I rubbed the back of my neck, glancing awkwardly at my mum.

“What is this anyway?” She unfolded the paper that I’d shoved into her hands, her gaze skimming down the page.

I bit my lip, watching as she read. Her face went slightly pale but she nodded and pushed the paper into her pocket. “Okay Lando. I trust you.” She met my eyes one last time. “Love you. Be right back after delivering this.”

I nodded as she leapt onto the dragon, and then switched my glance to the twins. “So—”

“Let’s bash this fairy lady,” Thomas said.

“Sounds good to me.”

- - -

Is it just me, or is April disappearing like it's being chased by a dragon?
(and at the same time, hasn't it been April for so long??)

Friday, 7 April 2017

The Adventures of Lando Erif :: The Day I Feel for Roast Potatoes (Pt. Six)

Camp NaNo though guys.

I can't believe it's been a week.

It seems so much longer and so much shorter at the same time.

But guess what happened yesterday. I was talking with my cousin Jessica and this came about:

Jessica: Okay I'm going to reach 15k total for the month by...8:50.
Me: Nuuuuu. xD I need to finish making these Lando Erif header images and write so I can stay ahead of you.
Jessica: Hmm...Today’s rainy, and I think I’ll go for the 10k challenge.*Grins again at the probable dismay on your face*
Jessica: *dies of laughter*

I tell you. That evil cousin of mine knows everything when it comes to getting me into crazy stuff.

BUT GUYS. I DID IT. 10K IN ONE DAY. *screams* (And woohoo, Jess also did it too. She actually managed it half an hour or so before me because I was busy eating dinner at the time. xP)

So, of my 50k word count goal, I've now got 25.6k written. I'M PRETTY HAPPY WITH THAT ACTUALLY.

Aaaanyways. You're here for Lando Erif, not me screaming about Camp. *bows* Onward to story/fairy land!

So much heat.

It tingled my whole body until I felt like one big, hot, roasted potato.

With chili sauce on top.

And a sprinkling of pepper.

Apparently I was alive after all.

I guess that’s a good thing?

Cracking my eyelids open, I found two bright red-brown eyes right in front of mine. Zana Bradford. I shut my eyes abruptly, hoping she hadn’t noticed.

“I saw that,” she said gleefully, jabbing something hard into my ribs.

“What a letdown,” I mumbled, or rather, tried to mumble. A sticky strip of something was wrapped across my mouth, stopping me from saying anything more than unintelligible noises. Duct tape? Really?

Zana drew back a little. “Oh yes, I thought the gag was necessary, just in case you felt like playing that ice-fire trick like last time. And besides,” she added, “I always like finding new uses for duct tape.”

She tapped a thin metal rod on one palm. “Tying broken things together so you don’t have to fix them, gagging annoying boys.” She spread her hands with a mischievous grin. “The possibilities are endless really.”

I rolled my eyes, putting on my best ‘oh yeah?’ expression.

Zana smiled sweetly in my direction, poking her wand into my ribs again. “Anyway. I hope you enjoy your stay in the dank dungeons of D’feord.” She giggled and then stood up. “I wish I could tell you my plans, just so I could see the look on your face. But I won’t. I do rather like to keep things a surprise. You don’t have to wait very long now.”

Well darn.

I rolled my eyes again. What did she expect me to do? I couldn’t very well say anything.

She tossed her hair back over her shoulder and stepped toward the door. “I’ll be seeing you. Hope you don’t mind that I won’t be feeding you very much either. I mean, I figured you wouldn’t mind, seeing as I’ll be killing you soon anyway.”

I couldn’t quite muster the courage to roll my eyes at that. The heat throbbing through me built up a little higher. She was going to kill me. No surprise there, I guess. 

But…I didn’t want to die.

“Oh good, I knew you’d understand.” The fairy pranced from the room, the door slamming shut of it’s own accord after she slipped through, the rattle jarring through me painfully.


I grimaced, working my jaw in an attempt to get the duct tape off. No good. Moving on, I discovered that I could move my hands a little bit. Twisting to a better position, I managed to get one thumb beneath the tape around my wrists, pulling and struggling against it. No luck, but I kept going.

I wasn’t just going to sit here.

Zana had a plan, and I needed to find out what it was. And I wasn’t going to find out what it was by sitting here and feeling sorry for myself. She wasn’t stupid enough for that to work out.

I felt a sudden flash of anxiety. What had happened to the twins? Had they actually been transported through the fairy ring? Where were they? Did Zana have them locked up too?

With a last twist, I yanked one of my arms free, yelping in pain against the tape across my mouth. My wrist and forearm were red when I lifted my hand and peeled away the gag carefully, grimacing as it stuck painfully to my skin.

Pulling in a deep breath, I relaxed somewhat, running my tongue over my dry lips. Water would be really good. On the bright side, I no longer felt like a helpless roast potato. Just an ordinary roast potato sitting on a tray in the oven.

Yeah okay, maybe I’m not very good with analogies.

It took me a fair while before I managed to get the rest of the tape off, and when I finally had, I slumped into the corner, closing my eyes with a huff. The heat was seeping my energy, and I honestly didn’t want to move at all.

No. I shoved myself upright, staggering and almost falling down again, but catching myself against the wall and remaining standing.

I couldn’t give up now.

Stumbling across to the grating door, I peered at it closely, wondering if I could possibly squeeze through. Nope, that was asking a bit much. I might be skinny, but not that skinny. Pressing up against the iron bars, I looked as far down the corridor as I could. No one in sight. I glanced the other way. Same there.

No harm in trying the lock. I reached through, my fingers finding a padlock. “Ugh.” I dropped it again. I couldn’t pick locks, I couldn’t break locks, I couldn’t do anything useful.

Then my foggy brain gave me a nudge. 

Oh wait. I could breathe fire. That had to count for something.

I puffed out a breath, a small curl of flame appearing in front of my nose for a second before flickering out. Okay. There had to be something flammable withing reach. I glanced round, searching for anything that might catch on fire or be any vague use at all.

My gaze fell on the rusty hinges and I stepped forward, squinting closely at them. Well…may as well see what happens. Pulling in a deep breath, I steadied myself before shooting a stream of fire over the rusted metal. My breath ran out a few moments later and I coughed to a stop.

The wood was blackened around the hinges, but that was all.

Still, it might be enough.

I backed up a few paces to give myself running room and then charged forward and smashed my shoulder into the weakened door, the hinges gave way, sending me reeling out into the corridor. I crashed into the far wall, just managing to keep my balance. The door hung off one hinge, looking like it would drop to the floor at any moment.

Time to go before it actually did.

I turned and started running down the narrow corridor, soon coming to a stairway and spiraling down them without a hesitation. I might be to late already. What did Zana count as ‘very long?’ And what was she even planning anyway?

Tripping down the last step, I paused, glancing around the room. What I really needed was a GPS. Or a map. Or just a evacuation ground plan.

But presumably there wasn’t a handy copy of the castle blueprints lying around.

The dungeons were obviously in a tower, but I had no idea by now which floor level I was on and how far above the ground I was. Window. I needed to find a window.

I started along the huge hall, my converse squeaking on the sheen smoothness of the floor. Reaching the top of a grand staircase, I paused, taking the first step cautiously. A sound from below, sent my heart beat pounding through my ears and I jumped back, spinning and bolting away, ducking down the first side hall I came to.

It was a lot narrower than the imposing hall I’d just left, but still wide and open. I slipped through into a half open door, pushing it shut and taking refuge behind a stack of books, just in case.

No sound.

I crouched, waiting tensely for a long moment, but no warning of approaching footsteps came so I straightened, looking around. One wall was taken up by a long window, the spotless glass gleaming in the sunlight. I stepped over to it, squinting out. The light reflected back at me off everything so that I couldn’t actually make out anything. Tears started pouring from my eyes, and I blinked them away, turning away from the brilliant light.

Maybe that wasn’t a good option then, since I had no clue how high I might be.

A desk against the wall was stacked with books, and I padded back over to them, glancing over the titles. Several lay open, and I paused over one with a sketch of the rabbit-bird creature. I skimmed the text. Species: Skvader…Temperament: Bad…Power: teleportation via books. I stopped, rereading a small note at the bottom of the page, written in a curly hand script.

Silly Fluff Ball can’t travel through the right books. Only use in greatest need.

So that was the deal with the creature then. The rabbit-bird, or Skvader, had teleported through a book in this castle and somehow ended up coming out of my history book by mistake.

I carefully flipped the book shut. Just in case. I didn’t need a bad tempered Fluff Ball attacking me without warning.

I glanced over a couple of papers, trying to make sense of the fancy handwriting. Zana had the most neat illegible writing I’d ever seen. Not sure if that was a step up from mine or not. Mine was just plain illegible, skip the whole neat thing entirely.

Turning away, I groaned softly, kneading my fingers into my forehead, trying to ease the pounding ache. Zana had evil plans. Zana might be carrying out those evil plans right now and I was stuck somewhere in her castle without a clue what was happening.

But if she had any plans, she’d be sure to keep a copy of them somewhere. I glanced back down at the desk and started searching frantically through the books and papers. There would be something there. There had to be. I heaved a stack of books off onto the floor, scanning through a few papers that had been jammed beneath them.

How to cast spells without a wand.

101 Different uses for Duct Tape.

Those ones weren’t going to be any use to me, but I shoved them into my pocket anyway just in case. The next one stopped me short though. It had no title, but for a short word: Plan.

Beneath, it held a single paragraph. Straight and to the point. Everything froze around me as I darted my gaze across the words.

I will make war with the humans. The Fairies will follow me as I lead an army of dragons and warlocks. I am playing the game of annihilation now.

The door swung open.

I glanced up.

Zana stood framed in the doorway for a moment, staring at me in silence. I couldn’t move, shock gluing my feet to the floor.

“Foolish boy,” she hissed, her eyes darkening to a glowing golden red.

Not good.

I dived for the window, shoving the plan into my pocket. A surge of heat battered me from behind, throwing me forward. 

In the end, I smashed through the glass elbow first.

- - -

I hope you enjoyed!!

*scampers of to keep writing all the wooooords*

How is your Camp NaNo going??
Or your April in general?

[NOTE: a Skvader is an actual mythological creature. Google it if you don't believe me. If it had invented it, I'd have called it a more pronounceable thing. xP]

Monday, 3 April 2017


Okay so that title sounds very weird on second thoughts, but I'm keeping it anyway. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU GET TO DO!!

Yup. Today I'm giving you a vlog of my awkwardness and answering a couple of random questions I've been asked about Camp NaNo. Because why not.

Aaand this one was just me by myself, so I may have gotten a bit times, because I was just sitting around talking to myself at the time of filming. And now I'm showing you how weird I am in normal life.

Now, I filmed this before April even started, so there were a few awkward moments of me attempting to pretend that it was April already, and completely failing - or forgetting that I was meant to be pretending and blurting out something that made absolutely no sense.

And it was actually a really hot day and I was sweltering. Ugh. Soooo hot. Hence I might look it once or twice during the video.

BUT ANYWAYS. Here you go.

*cue me completely mindblanking how even to upload a video onto youtube*
*and then cue youtube having a spas and taking a gajillion hours actually loading the silly thing*

[also warning: I did the most awkward introduction ever so just brace yourself for that. xD]

" do you stop these videos? Do you press the same button- oh yes. You do."

My super sister Alice was great and put this thing together for me again, and Clare entrusted me with her camera all alone in the room so big thanks to them both or you wouldn't have gotten so see this.

*snorts* The amount of times I accidentally repeated myself or lost track of my sentence halfway through talking, though. So many. But anyways.

And more recently than my filming - it's been confirmed that I'm going to be away for a week mid-April but you're still getting a chapter of Lando! I'll be scheduling it to post, so I don't have to worry about it while I'm gone.

Just so you know, I DO ACTUALLY OWN CLOTHES OTHER THAN T-SHIRTS. I just don't wear them as much. :P I almost wore the same shirt as my other vlog just for fun, but I picked up the one on top of it instead.

Also, fact of having glasses: reflections. I happened to be sitting opposite a window, so that there would be a decent amount of light so you could see me properly, but *huffs* that means reflections in my glasses half the time.

I was going to bring some Tiger Pear along to show you as some of the dangers of camping in Australia, but I completely forogt until I read out the question and at that point I figured it wouldn't be a good time to duck out the door and run down the back paddock and grab some. So just google it and be scared by the horrendous images of terror and spikiness. (And then come visit me and I'll take you camping. xP)


And you should totally go check out Jonathan's blog
(because he's a genius -obviously- and you all should meet the guy behind the white board calendar idea thing.)
How is your Camp NaNo???
(Tell me allll)

(p.s. you will get a writing/word count update from me some time...I just couldn't be bothered to put it in today. xD So hang in for that. Just know that I'm quite happy with how I'm going. *nods*)

Friday, 31 March 2017

The Adventures of Lando Erif :: The Day My Mum is Actually a Superhero (Pt. Five)

Guys. It's one day until Camp NaNoWriMo. WHAT. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN SO FAST??? 

So naturally I'm spending the last day preparing for my Camp novel and-- oh wait. Actually never mind. I'll spend the last day writing Lando, editing, critique reading and farewelling all those procrastinating stuffs that might dare to bog me down.

Let's see if it actually works.


Ahem. Anyways this wasn't meant to be a Camp NaNo post so I shall not rabbit on about it any longer and will instead go straight onward to the story!!

:: Part One ::
:: Part Two ::
:: Part Three ::
:: Part Four ::

Note: Today we have another Titus point of view chapter! You guys get to find out what happened after the toadstool magic ring and everything. Where did they go? Why did the fairies kidnap them?

Read on to find out...

Titus jolted awake, his eyes snapping open. “Thomas?”

His twin mumbled something from beside him and relief seeped across his shoulders. He was okay.

Rubbing his eyes, he squinted around at their surroundings. Everything was glowing weirdly, causing him to squint harder against the light. Where in the world was he? Smooth, engraved pavers beneath his shoes, high walls of bright stone on all sides. It was a few moments before it clicked.

A courtyard.

And not just any random courtyard but…the courtyard of a fairy castle?

“No way,” he breathed, shoving his hair from his forehead and turning in a circle on the spot to stare up at the walls. “That architecture is amazing. This is like nothing I’ve ever—”

“Ti…” Thomas’s groan from below broke him off and he glanced down quickly.

“Are you okay?”

“Only if you stop about the architecture.”

“Oh yeah…” He scratched his ear and nodded. “Okay.” 

Thomas stood up beside him, grabbing his arm. “People coming.”

“Dude no, those aren’t people.” Titus felt his throat go slightly dry. “I’m fairly sure those are, in fact—”

“Fairy,” Thomas finished.


“We’re doomed.”

Titus braced himself as the fairies approached. There was at least seven of them, and all of them staring at him and his twin. The leader stopped two meters away, looking them both up and down, his bright blue eyes sweeping over them.

“Um…” Thomas shifted a little closer to Titus, clearing his throat.

“Hi…?” Titus added, hopefully.

The fairy stood, his expression a perfect poker face. “Watch and observe.”

A frown creased Titus’s brows. “Sorry…what?”

“See? They are completely harmless.” The fairy looked back at his companions and beckoned for them to approach.

“Okaaay, you’re not talking to us. You’re talking about us.” He nodded, shifting back half a pace as all the fairies moved in closer. “That’s…nice.”

“Fate’s rumours cannot be true, if these are real humans,” one fairy muttered, glancing at the others.

“Dude, of course we’re real humans.” Thomas crossed his arms over his chest. “And what else might we be?”

A low whisper ran through the group, all the men gazing at Thomas. Titus stepped forward in front of his twin. “Hey you guys need to chill. What’s the deal with bringing us here, anyway?”


Titus frowned deeper. “Are you all deaf?”

The first fairy stepped forward again until he was within arms reach. “Zey Nabra D’feord lies. Clearly. Although these might have a strange way of speaking—”

“Hey!” he let out a protest, earning a sharp glance.

“—And perhaps are barbaric in their ways. They are not harmful.” The fairy waved one hand at them both, bowing to his fellow mythological beings.

Titus exchanged a glance with Thomas and then held up a hand. “Excuse me?”

The fairies looked at him, murmuring again.

“Why in the world did you abduct us to your…” He glanced around. “…Fairy castle? Is this fairyland or some such nonse—” he stopped himself at the last moment, deciding it mightn’t be a good idea to risk insulting their captors.

A moment of silence before someone from the back spoke up. “You have been taken in for observation. We must discover the truth behind the myths. If Zey Nabra is correct then you shall die with the rest.”

Titus froze, staring at the speaker. “Wait…”

“What?” Thomas gaped.

“Take the two humans to the guest room, and make sure they are comfortable, and under strong guard at all times.” The fairy leader turned away.

Titus took the moment to his advantage. Grabbing his twin’s arm, he spun and started running in the opposite direction. He wasn’t going to be some prisoner in an insane castle somewhere.

He sprinted across the courtyard, the shouts behind him sending fear prickling down his spine and urging him faster. Thomas started drawing ahead, but he managed to keep up the pace still. He reached the wall just behind Thomas, his twin shoving open a door and lurching through.

Titus scrambled after him, kicking it shut and bolting up the stairs behind Thomas. His breath panted in his chest, but he ran as hard as he could, skipping stairs in his speed.

A few moments later they burst out onto the top of the wall surrounding the castle courtyard and stopped short, almost falling over each other. Finally able to see his surroundings properly, Titus felt the blood drain from his face.

They stood on a wall looking out over the island, bright grass rippling out on either side of the castle, dotted with patches of flowers. Sunlight flooded out across them, sparkling off the water of the river.

But that wasn’t what made them stop.

It was more the fact that the island was floating in the air.

Beyond the edge of the land, there was nothing. Just air. And a few clouds. Then a little way along, the lump of another island.

Titus swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. How in the world could they possibly get away from this? He turned to Thomas, but his twin yelped aloud and grabbed his arm, dragging him into a run along the wide wall.

“What—?” he managed a gasp before almost tripping and falling on his face.

Thomas sprinted ahead, fingers clasped firmly around his wrist and pulling him along as well. “Dragon.”

Titus jolted and they both threw themselves flat at the same moment, narrowly avoiding the grabbing claws of a dragons as it swept over above.

“Please don’t be Zana, please don’t be Zana,” he mumbled the words over and over, picking himself up to his hands and knees with a wince, the palms of his hands stinging painfully.

“Come on,” Thomas whispered frantically, starting to stand but then fell back, letting out a cry.

“Thomas?” His heart rate jolted and he scrambled to his brother’s side. “What’s wrong?”

Thomas gripped his knee. “I think— I whacked my knee— a bit hard on the landing.”

Titus shifted forward, grabbing Thomas’s arm and lifting it over his shoulders, pulling him upright. “Lean on me.”

They started running again, but barely got more than a few meters before a pop of light flashed up from below, splashing into them.  Titus tripped, but managed to catch himself on his hands again, Thomas landing on top of him.

“Stupid— fairy— spells—” Thomas grunted, rolling off Titus and starting to stand.

A rush of air and Thomas was snatched from the wall, soaring upward in the claws of a dragon. Titus shoved to his feet, panic gripping him. “Thomas!” he yelled but the dragon dived in a grey blur, disappearing beneath the rim of the island.

He stared at the last place he’d seen his twin, something going cold inside. No, no, not Thomas. Not his little brother.

Another pop came from below, and he ducked, the ball of light barely missing him. He needed to get a dragon and get out of here. Spinning, he started running again, sprinting along the wall. There had to be some other dragon somewhere here, surely? Fairyland would have more than one dragon.

As if on cue, a whoosh of air swept up behind him and he ducked. The grey dragon swept over him, turning at a steep tilt and diving back down at him.

He braced himself. Thomas was there. He needed to get to him. If that meant he had to be run down by a dragon… Fine then.

A heave of air almost sent him tumbling backward but a hand grabbed his arm, hauling him upward even as the dragon swept across over the courtyard and then beyond the edge of the floating island.

“Ti, it’s okay,” Thomas pulled him up until he was lying across the back of the dragon, hanging on for dear life. “It’s Lando’s mum!”

He scrabbled for grip on the rough scales and managed to get himself in a safer position. Raising his eyes, he caught a grin from Thomas and then perched in front of him and leaning low over the neck of the dragon, Rayna Erif looked over her shoulder and nodded at him.

“What in the world?” he gasped, the wind snatching his words.

“Hold on boys,” her voice came over the rush of air. “We’re going to find my son.”

- - -

Voila! There you go. *bows*

Hope you enjoyed that! Now, go and do some last minute plotting. *nods* It'll be a good idea, trust me.

*whispers* I'll see you on Monday...

And never fear! I will still be doing Lando stories in April. Because my amazingness has foreplanned and written (or rather, is writing) them already and it'll just be a matter of remembering to do something about them.

Is anyone else excited for Camp NaNo??
(I AM, just in case no one had picked that up already. xD)